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If our lives are made up of our daily habits, what you building yours out of?
No matter how amazing your days are right now, I’m guessing there is something you’d like to cut out, change, or streamline in your health, home, or work life. After all, we’re all works in progress.
Don’t wait for New Year's
Change is challenging. The body and brain are efficiency machines, built to crop out wasted effort, so naturally they resist change, resulting in some friction. This friction is what causes so many New Year’s resolutions to fail, and why there are large fitness industries built upon the idea that you’ll join a gym (and the attendant workout gear and protein powder) in January, and likely start ghosting it by March.
While I applaud the idea of self-improvement, I’d rather think of it as an evolving year-long project than one you pick up for two months guilted by too much holiday celebrating. Does this sometimes lead to a distracted free-for-all where I am dog training one month and learning about sourdough another? Yes. But it’s still moving n a direction I want to go, so I’ll take it.
What will you choose?
Lose weight, gain a new skill, write a novel? Sometimes it’s easiest to start with something small, like drinking more water each day. That’s a great one because it’s easy, healthy, and makes your skin glow. After listening to a masterclass podcast on water on “The Model Health” show, I started drinking two pints of water upon waking. It’s been about two years now, and it’s so fast and simple, it’s reflexive for me now. The only time I struggle is when I’m traveling and have to pound four eight-ounce hotel glasses. If you need help during the day, there are bottles with measurements, apps that remind you and more, I’m sure.
You can also set a limited duration, like a week or 30 days, to make it more palatable, or just know that you are an autonomous person with choice and there’s no shame in changing your mind if you decide it’s not for you anymore.
Get it on – or off – your calendar
Whatever you choose, consider carving out dedicated time for it. Many people find it hard to say no to their calendar – especially if they set a phone alarm for it, so that can be a helpful tool toward making a new habit stick. There are all kinds of ways of organizing your life to prioritize one’s habits.
Some find it easiest to work in smaller increments. Fitness guru Chalene Johnson made a journal that breaks down life into quarters, targeting certain elements of her business each quarter. Others find it helpful to make rules, like saving the time between 7:00 -8:00 a.m. for something precious, like meditation, journaling, working out, or reading something instructive or inspirational. (Early mornings before all those other people are awake is a popular time to begin new habits for obvious reasons.) Or, saving your most productive time, whether you are an early riser or a night owl, for things you care about that take thinking and creativity, and using your afternoon slump for returning emails.
Sometimes it’s about what you don’t do, like productivity and happiness author Neil Pasricha, who preserves at least one untouchable day a week.
“These are days where I am literally unreachable, by anyone, in any way – all day,” he writes on his blog (neil.blog). “My productivity is about ten times higher on those days.” He also has boundaries around how many days he’ll travel in a month and dedicated time with family.
Grab an accomplice
For most of us, a buddy is even harder to turn down than your beeping calendar. So either find an accomplice on the same journey to take that 6 a.m. bootcamp class or, if yours is a solo quest, you can take advantage of technology and make the world – or a good pal – your online accountability buddy. You can a) announce to your friends/followers that you are starting this quest and will report back daily/weekly or even just email or text a friend (ask for their permission before spamming them with your life quest progress).
Stack it!
We all have mental associations linking certain behaviors, like I always eat chips while watching TV at night, or I smoke when out with friends, or ... they come from repetition as the brain builds up insulating myelin shoring up the neural pathways between them. I’d call these examples unwanted behaviors.
But you can use this same tendency to cement new desired behaviors, by stacking them with something you already do automatically. For instance, you could practice squats as your coffee maker bubbles, or do face yoga or breathwork when you hit a red light. In the water example, you can make a point of drinking water at every meal, after brushing your teeth, or whenever you turn your bedside light on or off. Think of all the things you can level up – taking out the trash, doing the dishes….
Location, location, location
The mind makes place-related associations too. You can use your surroundings as a cue to your body to get ready for the activity you are doing. If you want to hone your focus while at your home computer, reserve it for work tasks - don’t use it to watch TV. Likewise, if you want your bedroom to be relaxing, don’t work or watch Youtube there.
Find a strong why
When it’s cold and you don’t want to jump out of the covers to work out, or you’re feeling you’d rather catch up on your latest television show than write your novel, it helps to remind yourself why you started this in the first place. Do you want to be able to play with your grandkids, feel stronger, or finally express your creativity? Tip: like we are sometimes more motivated to show up when a friend is coming, some of the most compelling why’s involve goals or other people. Note I’m not saying to live your life for external validation, but that it can be a trick to kick ourselves into gear.
Whatever change is inspiring you, take these few habit-forming building blocks as your permission to go for it.