A reminder on the author's computer to find beauty in the everyday.
Erica Browne Grivas
Do you know that saying “Are you living to work, or working to live?” Usually, the implied answer is the latter — but are those really the only two choices? Being obsessed with your work, or working to pay for your leisure time?
Many self-help books and blogs are fueled by the concept of finding your purpose, which of course is a wonderful goal. In the West, I think we tend to assume this is your lifelong career, hopefully a monetizable one. Nowadays, this may be outdated, and perhaps unhelpful to assume you have a) a single purpose, b) that it’s career-based, and c) you never get to change course, all decisions that limit your choices and experiences.
Much like dating, if you spend all your life waiting and looking for an ideal you consider “the one”, you’ll miss wonderful experiences. As Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
Also, fewer people are one-job or one-company workers nowadays, and the growing gig economy enables people to wear as many hats as they like, so feel free to make a new choice!
The Japanese have a concept called iIkigai, meaning that which gives value and joy to life. This could be in any part of your life, from your cash-earning work to hobbies or volunteer work, or time with your loved ones and friends.
Author Hector Garcia (“Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life”) interviewed 100 elderly residents of Ogimi Village in Okinawa, known for its longevity. “When we asked what their ikigai was, they gave us explicit answers, such as their friends, gardening, and art,” Garcia said, writes the Japanese government’s online magazine Kizuna on Japan. “Everyone knows what the source of their zest for life is, and is busily engaged in it every day,” Garcia said.
Enjoying your daily life has longer-term benefits too. According to the same publication, “Another study conducted on people aged 65 and over revealed that those who work only for financial reasons, compared with those who work in pursuit of their ikigai, have a 1.55 times greater risk of decline in functional capacity two years later.”
I came across a lecture by writer Alan Watts (it was a clip on Youtube, and didn’t say the date or location), which dealt with many of these issues.
His chief theme was that the secret to a joyful life is, well, being joyful. Obvious on the surface, but not as easy as it sounds. He described examples where physical exercise was compulsory at school, and so roundly despised. On the other side of the coin was the 1970’s Brazilian World Cup-winning soccer team, playing in a style more like ensemble dance than soccer. When I looked it up, I discovered sports writers called it futebol arte (football art) vs. futebol de resultado (football for the result). What are you doing just for the result? Are you a perfectionist?
My favorite part of his talk, which may not have been the most intellectual argument, was when he said, “Consider the vegetables.” He described seeing the ornate construction of the stalks and flowers — others may think of cabbages or brussel sprouts, but if you’ve read my gardening column you know I’m thinking about tomatoes. When he said “… Look at the thing and it’s just like Bach doing a symphony,” I got a little choked up. I love my plants. Yet there is magic in finding art in the everyday.
When you are focused on “having” to do something, it loses most of its potential joy. I’ve heard other speakers suggest telling yourself “I get to” work out, drive the kids to school, etc. It will probably feel contrived. You may find some internal resistance — some part of us revels in complaining — just a little bit. That part wants to feel justified. If you can find your way to being grateful that your body is strong enough to work out, and that you have beautiful children to drive around, it goes a long way to making that task more pleasant.
A 2014 study of hospital workers showed that while some were not inspired by their work cleaning up after patients, there were some who saw themselves as integral to the caretaking process, giving their work a sense of meaning (Dutton, Debebe, & Wrzesniewski, 2014). Take washing dishes, Watts said, one of those things that happens continually. You can think about all the dishes you’ve ever done, and all the dishes you will do, until it seems like a Mount Everest of dirty plates, and you have a chip of resentment the same shape alongside it.
Or you can just wash the one dish in front of you and let future you take care of the next one. If you can sing while you’re doing it, all the better.
Alan Watts goes on to say that if you can treat work like play, the entire world and every minute of your day will feel full of possibilities. He gave an example of a bus driver who enjoys the game of driving instead of noticing cranky passengers.
So, some final thoughts. It’s great to know your purpose, which is a powerful motivation. But be open to a multifaceted purpose, including what you do at work, your values, your prime directives (yes, there’s a new Star Trek series out). Also consider your ikigai. I think of it as what fuels me. For me, finding beauty wherever I go keeps me engaged on a deep level — I could be online to renew my driver’s license and get hypnotized by the ironwork of the building. Lastly, play as much of every day as you have.