At some point in his life every man must ask himself one of the fundamental questions of existence: Should I grow facial hair? I realized this the other day when I saw footage of Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico endorsing Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination for president. Richardson himself dropped out of the race clean-shaven in January. Now he's back with an extended goatee and a possible vice-presidential nod if Obama wins. It's a gutsy move, considering the ridicule Al Gore endured when he grew a beard after losing the 2000 presidential election. (If you had a presidential election stolen from you I'd bet you'd stop grooming and overindulge on comfort food, too.) You'd probably need to go back decades to find a presidential or vice-presidential candidate with facial hair. I know you'd need to go back almost 100 years to find the last president with whiskers: William Howard Taft had a bushy mustache in 1913. I suspect if Richardson does end up being the vice-presidential nominee he'll be clean-shaven well before Election Day. First of all, because Americans like their contemporary leaders that way. It's the bad guys who always have facial hair: Hitler, Osama bin Laden, Dr. Phil. Second of all, because Richardson's beard probably makes his mother cry. YOU'LL MAKE YOUR MOTHER CRYThat's the way it is with my beard and my mother. After spending Christmas with my mother and family in Connecticut, I need to wait until returning to Seattle in January to start growing my beard. I flew home a couple years ago with a beard, and Mom cried. So now I wait until after Jan. 1. One of my coworkers told me I was a good son when I explained my situation. She then admitted that she once cried when she saw one of her sons with a beard. When I pressed her as to why facial hair would make a mother cry, she admitted she felt her son's new appearance reflected poorly on her. A COMPLIMENTARY LOOKMy first facial hair was a goatee. I decided to grow one after seeing the Beastie Boys music video "So What'cha Want" when I was 20 years old. Two of the Beasties had one, and it looked cool. In the 16 years since I've been growing mostly full beards in the wintertime. Surprisingly, I've met some women who do compliment me on my beard. Typically, these women are married, engaged or have boyfriends. I even believe some of these women have lived vicariously through my beard. For example, years ago, when I was working in a butcher shop, one older woman in particular asked me regularly about my beard. She wanted to know how frequently I trimmed it and what type of trimmer or razors I used. My boss once asked her if she would ever allow her husband to grow a beard. "Oh, God, no," she replied and walked away, laughing. As I said, most of these compliments come from women in committed relationships. Single women consistently ignore me whether I'm clean-shaven or not. I would also receive compliments on my beard from men, which took a while for me to get used to. In case you haven't noticed, men don't often compliment one another when we get haircuts, new pants or anything else. But men I knew or hardly knew would nod their heads and say "Looking good" or stroke their chin and say "Coming in nice." Perhaps the greatest compliment was when my aforementioned boss at the butcher shop, who already had a mustache, decided to grow a beard after seeing mine come in. You know you've finally reached manhood when a butcher wants to look like you. WHEN TO SHAVE...?The flip side of the facial-hair decision, of course, is deciding when to shave it off. Late-night television hosts David Letterman and Conan O'Brien both returned after the recent writer's strike with beards. Dave had his shaved off two nights later on air and instantly regretted it. Conan followed soon after. Recently, right here in Seattle, two longtime mustached newscasters took out the clippers: KING weatherman Jeff Renner shaved off his mustache, and KIRO newscaster and Seahawks radio play-by-play man Steve Raible cut his off, too. Now, when I see them on my television, I don't think they have as much credibility as they used to. THE TIME IS NEARI've never made the commitment to a year-round beard myself; I usually shave it off once the weather warms up. But since it's still snowing in mid-April, I probably won't need to make that decision for a few more weeks. Although, my mother is planning to fly out and visit me soon....Matthew Wilemski, a Wallingford resident, can be reached at needitor@nwlink.com.[[In-content Ad]]
