Relationships enrich life and bring joy, love, experience and rewards. Relationships demand hard work, but they can provide a soul-nourishing renewal that has no equal in life - even chocolate.
We all know this stuff. The definitions, requirements and benefits of relationships - romantic, familial and platonic - are manifold and obvious. I've heard them all, except the single word I recently stumbled over that sums up relationships best: inconvenient.
WHAT'S IMPORTANT
I made a new friend at a singles' gathering two months ago. I can't speak for her, but I made out better than I expected that night. True love would be nice, but friendship is worth gold.
We continued to run into each other, but it took a lot of reassurance and explanations to get her to sit down and talk with me. No matter how intense I may appear while hunched over my laptop in a public place, I demand my friends stop and say hello.
I am grateful when they respect my work, but I value their presence more. Relationships often sully the smooth waters of my life and conflict with work deadlines, but waves make life interesting.
Sure, I'd prefer to schedule time with friends - always outside on sunny days and with something cool to drink at hand.
WHEN IT MATTERS
Fact is, I can't wait until the calendar to clear to spend time with friends. Life happens. I do schedule time to laugh with my best friend, but I also make time - even when headed out on a date - to answer her call after she fought with her husband.
Relationships can be incredibly inconvenient. What does this have to do with being seriously single? Everything.
In a world of microwave ovens and television programs available at will on DVD, we expect convenience. Yet, nothing is more inconvenient than romance.
It's Miss Murphy's Law: Stop waiting for a boyfriend, and one will appear. Certainly, after weeks of free time spent cleaning grout, I will finally get asked when my schedule is crammed full.
For a first date (or a third) I'll rearrange my calendar and take pleasure in doing it. In time, though, as the relationship matures (or doesn't), a single sharp word from a stressed-out suitor at a bad moment in my day can cause instant erasure of any free time to date from my schedule.
Romantic relationships are minefields of inconvenient interruptions. No convenient time exists to discuss feelings. As for arguments, a random conversation about strawberries can erupt into full-scale battle and lead to the "strained-smile" game. This is the walk into the dinner party - with determined grin in place - while no longer on speaking terms with my companion.
Breakups define inconvenience. Being dumped is never convenient, which means there can be no good time to dump either.
NOT RIGHT NOW
Over and over, singles have given me a "not now" excuse to not date. Yes, it might be easier to date when the pounds drop off, the calendar clears, the right outfit appears, the promotion comes through, the house gets clean, the plantar fasciitis eases up and 1,000 other things happen to make life perfect.
Internet dating sites, Viagra and fertility medicine have created a false confidence that whenever we want it - when it is convenient - love and relationships await us without difficulties,
The ugly truth is love doesn't come on order. Be careful. The only thing we have that much control over is arranging time to chomp microwave popcorn while watching "CSI" on DVD - alone.
Sofia lives in North Seattle. She can be reached at needitor@nwlink.com.[[In-content Ad]]
