Last spring, a friend invited me along on a singles' pub crawl through Fremont, then he bailed.
On my own, I mixed and mingled and met interesting people. I did not get a date, but I did get one memorable snub.
At Norm's Eatery, I talked up a well-dressed, well-groomed man who looked promising. He told me he worked as a scientist at a nearby university and asked my profession. I shared, and he asked where I got my degree.
I laughed lightly and admitted I ditched college before I'd earned the paperwork. He physically turned then to search the room, and our conversation terminated.
I'm undereducated. A BA, MBA, BS or any alphabet soup doesn't interest me, nor impair my abilities, I believe, as a smart-alec columnist.
Still, I know some people date exclusively those who share their level of education or have more. I only hope most of them aren't rude snobs about it.
EDUCATED
Degree, or level-of-education, requirements cull out some of those who don't make money or live ambitiously. It's no guarantee of intelligence or income, though; education guarantees that the holder passed classes.
At a singles' gathering last week I met a woman enrolled in law school to become a children's advocate - plans of good karma and limited income potential.
Last summer, I read an Internet-dating profile that demanded respondents be women whose education at least matched the writer's - who forgot to include information on his list of degrees. He also insisted respondents be intelligent.
What is intelligent? Is he?
INTELLIGENCE
The profile writer had one good point: Level of intelligence is an important consideration in the compatibility of potential soul mates. Recall, though, that intelligence - like beauty - is in the eye of the beholder, and while beauty fades, intelligence can grow if nurtured.
CERTIFIABLE GENIUSES
I no longer date the incredibly intelligent. Intelligence can be the ability to see one, two, or 12 steps ahead - like in chess.
Some geniuses get so focused on Step 15, they forget - or find boring - Steps 1 and 2, including basic manners, picking up socks and being thoughtful.
The ability to give the square root of pi or dissect the management style of every British monarch may be preferred dinner conversation by you. I prefer someone who empties the dishwasher or gets me flowers without numerous hints, thank you.
WITTY
Every party needs someone who has all the right comebacks. You know, the one who keeps things lively by inventing creative nicknames, clever sayings and well-timed jokes. I envy these people, but I can't sustain a conversation with one long enough to get their name, much less a date.
WISE
A quiet kind of thoughtful wisdom can be very attractive - or not. Can you imagine dating Gandhi?
Wisdom often comes from fully living a variety of experiences. Unfortunately, wise people rarely amass financial riches. I love the treasure trove of interesting anecdotes, but my picking up the dinner check gets old.
STREETWISE
With an excess of common sense, these folks may not talk a good game or murmur sweet-nothings that turn knees to jelly.
They can work a cash machine, figure out how to get to a date on time and, hopefully, scratch that itch, when needed.
INTELLECTUAL EGALITARIAN
I do not advocate being particularly discriminating; I'm not. In dating, I prefer to be egalitarian.
Unlike the scientist with a need for alphabet soup, I'd rather get to know people I date and learn how they think - if they do.
An acquaintance once told an anecdote during a phone conversation that he'd already shared days earlier on our second date. I wrote the error off to nerves and/or temporary insanity (which somehow doesn't disturb me as much as bad conversation.)
When he repeated exactly the same anecdote on our fifth date, my visions of our bright future together turned dull.
And since I'm not rude, I only mentally turned to search the room....
