Auto-borne messages offer a kind of 'town hall' for drivers
Last week, I was following a cherry, 1953 Ford pickup across the Ballard Bridge when I noticed it had some sort of a red sticker attached to its rear bumper. Unable to read it from the distance separating us, I caught up with the truck at the next traffic light, where finally I could make out what the sticker said.
The proud Ford fanatic (or perhaps Boeing worker) proclaimed to the world: "Thank God Chevrolet doesn't build airplanes."
Bumper stickers: we've all seen them. You might even have one attached to the rear of your vehicle right now.
The bumper sticker is a personal expression of some philosophy, be it political favor or disapproval, religious conviction, social comment, sexual preference or even just an example of silly humor.
Bumper stickers offer an easy forum for everyday citizens to voice frustration and criticism. In that way, they are a kind of town hall taking place between drivers on the highways of America.
I don't remember the bumper sticker that first found its way onto the back of one of my automobiles, but I do remember the first one I ever saw attached to my parents' car.
We were traveling up the West Coast, and after miles of billboards imploring us to stop, my brother and I (no doubt with a lot of whining) convinced my father to pull off the highway at Sea Lion Caves in Oregon.
When we emerged from the dark, smelly, humid cave, the sight that greeted us in the parking lot-wired to the back of my father's new, 1958 Plymouth company car-was a garish red-and-yellow message to "Visit SEA LION CAVES!"
That lasted until we made our next stop for gas and my father was able to borrow a pair of wire cutters to remove the unpaid-for advertising.
The bumper sticker is an expression of some philosophy, be it political favor or disapproval, religious conviction, social comment, sexual preference, or even just an example of silly humor.
The most common bumper sticker is probably the political sticker. It doesn't matter-Democrat or Republican, Obama or McCain-presidential elections bring on overtime in the bumper-sticker industry. Who can forget "Nixon's the One," or the more specific "Play the tapes, Dick!"? (I guess I'm dating myself a little there.)
Bumper-sticker oversimplification even surpasses the aphoristic brevity of media sound-bites.
While visiting Detroit a few years ago I noticed a rash of "I'm the proud parent of a (fill in appropriate school name) Honor Student" stickers.
When I came across a sticker that read, "My kid can beat up your Honor Student," I had to smile.
Of course, a very popular sticker is the ever-present "S-t happens." I'm sorry, but for my taste that's a little crude. I much prefer a sticker I saw recently that conveys the same message: "Doo-doo occurs."
Whenever I was out and about (as they say) driving in my old car there wasn't a day that went by without at least one person stopping me, complimenting my selection and then starting a conversation about my old bumper sticker.
Across the back of my rear glass was a yellow sticker that proclaimed: "Hang Up & Drive!"
I should get another sticker for the back of my new minivan.
I think at one time or another we've all followed some self-absorbed person weaving down the road as they try to hang on to a cell phone with one hand, gesture with the other and steer with their knees. Whatever conversation such a driver is having, apparently, is much more important than safe driving.
My "Hang Up & Drive!" message should be in reverse lettering across the top of my windshield, except those dolts never even think to look in their rearview mirrors.
Practice free speech: glue on a bumper sticker today!
When longtime Magnolia resident and freelance columnist Gary McDaniel isn't politely suggesting that cell-phone abusers "hang up and drive," he can be reached at mageditor@nwlink.com. Or give him a call on the cell-not!