In 1986, Pat Migliore tested positive for HIV. She was a married, heterosexual woman during 1980s when HIV/AIDS was still considered a "gay man's" disease. When Migliore looked for HIV/AIDS support groups in Seattle, she did not find one for women. However, she did find other women like herself who were HIV-positive.
In 1989, Migliore, along with those 12 other HIV-positive women, hosted a potluck dinner to get to know one another, and to begin talking about living with HIV/AIDS.
During the first meeting they described their frustrations with the male-centered AIDS services in Seattle, and the many challenges they faced with stigmatization, childcare and domestic violence. They called themselves Babes with AIDS (later the BABES Network) and the circle of women continued to grow. BABES continued to meet every week over dinner.
Migliore describes what it was like to have AIDS during the first days of BABES.
"We didn't have AIDS back then," she said sarcastically, referring to outsiders' denial of the disease. "It was a very isolating disease, which is something that is true today. People were getting sick and dying very quickly. The support group was a lot about daily living, but it was also a lot about being with people while they were dying."
Migliore's husband died in 1989 of AIDS, as have two of the group's original members. She describes the 1980s as a time when everyone was told, "You get AIDS and die."
Migliore and the other BABES were a continual shock to their friends and coworkers. As Migliore said, "out" HIV-positive women were unusual, and their very presence, "made people push the death-and-dying dialogue and face things that people our age usually didn't have to deal with. I represented mortality [to HIV-negative people.]"
Shelter from prejudice
Death was one of the topics BABES discussed in the early days, along with other day-to-day issues: finances, treatment, children and resources. BABES has continued to function as a network of women talking about the daily concerns of their lives. The organization received its first funding in 1992, and gained non-profit status in 1997. And, in March of 2005, Babes was incorporated into YWCA programming as "BABES Network." Today, the BABES Network offers peer counseling, support groups, retreats, treatment education and advocacy for HIV-positive women in a cozy office in the First Hill neighborhood.
Dorothy Neal came to BABES because she wanted to talk to other women about AIDS. Neal lived and worked on the streets of downtown Seattle as a prostitute for 26 years before finding transitional housing at the YWCA, and getting tested for HIV.
When Neal discovered that she was HIV-positive, she decided to work toward starting a "clean" life. Neal says that BABES has helped her by boosting her confidence.
"I feel comfortable [at BABES] because we all have the same thing," said Neal.
Neal says that BABES has become her family, her friends, and a safe place to escape isolation. She has told few other people that she is HIV-positive. When Neal disclosed her status to her family members, the word spread, and other homeless people in a secluded park attacked her.
She is worried that people who fear HIV might hurt her again. BABES has provided Neal with emotional support, which Neal says she "never had without something else behind it." Neal currently attends support groups, game parties and movie-nights at BABES.
Finding refuge
Miriam Loba is another woman who has overcome fear to join BABES' "sisterhood of women fighting HIV together." Loba is a political refugee from Kenya. She was forced to escape Kenya's former dictatorship after participating in union organizing at a public university. Loba was shocked when she discovered that she was HIV-positive in the United States. Another blow came in 2004 when she discovered she had Hodgkins Lymphoma. She agreed to be tested for HIV after the nurse drew her blood during routine cancer treatment.
"I have always been healthy," Loba said. "I've never been hospitalized."
Loba's HIV developed quickly into AIDS. And AIDS has dealt more than a physical blow to her health. Though Loba has always been subject to bouts of depression and other emotional disorders, she became more and more discouraged after learning that she had AIDS.
Like Neal, Loba sought out BABES to interact with other HIV-positive women. She said the best part of being with BABES is "Just having someone to talk to and to be there for you, to know that someone is there for you, that you don't have to be alone."
Loba is especially concerned with HIV/AIDS as a global issue. Many of her family members and friends have died of AIDS in Kenya.
"It is a global problem," Loba asserted. "Because of globalization we are all interconnected. People are traveling, and getting intimate and connected. AIDS must be tackled on every level in every country."
Like many others, Loba is scared of revealing her HIV status to her family and friends. She is scared of their reaction and what they would say.
For women like Neal and Loba, BABES is the first place they disclosed their HIV status, the first place they learn about treatment and the first place to dream again about their futures.
"AIDS lost its sexy edge a while back," Migliore acknowledged. "People tend to responds more to crises than they do to going through every day just trying to get by." Her dream for BABES, and for HIV prevention is for "the spirit of BABES to continue." She remembered BABES' start in the 1980s.
"It was a group of women sitting around the table asking how we could help each other," Migliore recalled of the group's beginnings during the 1980s. "If more people approached problems that way, we'd have fewer problems."
The BABES Network is located at 1120 E. Terrace St. Suite 100. More information is available at www.babesnetwork.org or at 206-720-5566.
Freelance writer Kelsey Jones-Casey can be reached at editor@capitolhilltimes.com.
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