One of the more insightful comments in Kirk Enright's parental coping manual, "Why Chicken Nuggets are Better Than Prozac," is found on page 38 in which he dissects parental motivation in sentencing kids for their "criminal" behavior.
Crime: Cheetos
Punishment: Brown rice, tofu and vegetables for dinner every night for the rest of the month
Real reason: Mom started a new diet, has somehow gained 3.5 pounds.
Crime: Putting hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place just before dad lands on it
Punishment: Game over, everybody sent to bed
Real reason: One of dad's fraternity brothers just made the Forbes 400
Crime: Putting hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place just before dad lands on it
Punishment: Game over, everybody sent to bed, dad sits in living room drinking whiskey
Real reason: One of dad's brothers just made the Forbes 400
Jokes, yes. But based in truth.
"They're inspired by real events," Enright said, sitting in the Top Pot Doughnut shop in Queen Anne, where he sipped on a triple 16-ounce Americano. The self-proclaimed "overcaffeinated dad" who has been living in Queen Anne for about five years, was somewhere near his eighth shot of espresso, his daily. If he was jittery, it didn't show. And whether he would sleep that night (unlikely anyway as he has three little kids) was unknown. "I was just irritated by something and all you can do is try and recognize your own faults and shortcomings," he added, explaining the passage.
Enright and his wife, Jeanette, are Chicago transplants by way of Los Angeles. He was an ad rep for a Chicago agency, when he got tired of it and the both of them wanted a change. The City of Angels sounded worth a try, and Enright found work writing, producing and directing spots for Disney. They had their son, Nick, and their parenting experiment began, as did Enright's intermittent blogging. While he waited for rewrites or phone calls from Disney people, Enright passed the time jotting down tidbits about parenting and funny stuff his kid was doing. One moment worth jotting came when Enright and Nick were waiting in line in the supermarket and saw an overweight woman standing behind them. Nick pointed at her and asked a bit too loudly, "Is that woman fat?" Enright replied that she wasn't, but Nick persisted, tearing down his dad's argument in a cross examination. All of this happened within earshot of the woman, who was not pleased. But it was a real moment that a lot of parents probably go through.
Over the next few years, (that familiar wanderlust brought the family to Seattle) Enright jotted down 80 other anecdotes and insights all unbeknownst to his wife.
"She didn't know I was writing for a long time," Enright said. But now Jeanette has a "under-caffeinated mom" link on Enright's site, where she too provides kid bits and insights. The book is published through Verbal Rebellion and is sold on Amazon.com.
And with their three kids, Nick, 11; Dylan, 7; and Ella, 3, the two may have much to share in the near future about raising teenagers.
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