If you live in the Northwest, especially west of the mountains, you're on pretty intimate terms with moss.
Moss can be everywhere. On the side of the house, in the grass of the lawn, on the driveway and sidewalk, on ignored cars-there is even moss on the north side of the recycling bin.
Those three-wheeled baby strollers that jogging parents run behind: even they aren't safe from acquiring a fine green patina if the parent stops for a latte and lingers a little too long. Careful attention must also be paid to dogs tied up outside; if they snooze in one position for any length of time, they're liable to begin taking on a verdant cast.
Because cats are usually basking in the sun, they tend to be pretty immune from the mossy onslaught; besides, their constant grooming with those rough tongues would soon scrape away any lingering vegetation.
Fall is the start of the moss season-that is, if there is one single season when it is more predominant than others. Our famous northwest rains have started, and there's less strong sunlight to completely dry out the many spots where moss likes to begin to spread its green or black presence.
One of the first things you learn about establishing directions as a child, besides that the sun rises in the East and set in the West, is that moss grows on the north side of trees. In northern latitudes this is true, because it is assumed to be because of the lack of sufficient water for moss reproduction on the sun-facing south side of trees. Of course, south of the equator the reverse is true.
And to further confuse you: in deep forests, where sunlight does not even penetrate, mosses grow equally well on all sides of the tree trunk. So don't depend on moss location to get you out of the forest and back to civilization. It's better to just carry a compass.
Now we're going to get all botanical on you. Mosses are small, velvety soft plants that are usually only 1 to 10 cm tall. They commonly grow close together in clumps or mats in damp or shady locations, like on the north side of your house. They do not have flowers or seeds, and their simple leaves cover their thin wiry stems.
Here's where things get sexy, so you might want to keep this part away from impressionable eyes. Instead of seeds, the life of a moss starts from a spore that contains a single set of chromosomes, which germinates to then produce a mass of filaments.
These filaments then become differentiated into very small stems and leaves. From the tips of the stems or branches develop the sex organs of the mosses.
Mosses can be either dioicous (having male and female sex organs in separate plants) or monoicous (both organs in the same plant). In the presence of water, moss sperm swim from the male organs to the female organs; without water, fertilization cannot occur.
I told you this got a bit randy.
Mosses are found mostly in areas of low light and dampness in any area of the world. Mosses are common in wooded areas and at the edges of streams, but they are also found in cracks between paving stones in damp city streets. Some types have even adapted to urban conditions and are found only in cities.
It must be one of those latter types that has taken up residence on two sides of my house. A couple of years ago, I screwed together the aluminum sections of a long-handled brush I have; mixed up a witches brew of bleach and soap in a large plastic bucket, and set out to scour the side of the house clean.
After an afternoon of rather intensive work, trying to wield a 20-foot long brush dripping with a rather noxious concoction that ended up all over me, the job was completed. After a quick spray with the hose, the wall once again looked to match the others.
However, after another damp fall-and-winter moss season, not only was the moss back, it even looked to be worse than it was before I initially attacked it. I was beginning to think I had done little more than spread the spores around. (See the sexy part above.) Obviously, more drastic measures were called for.
Late one night, when most people are soundly asleep, I too was drifting on the edge of consciousness myself in front of the soft glow of the TV, as yet another B-movie struggled to reach its conclusion.
Somehow I became aware of an advertisement for a product that promised Mega Moss Death with just one simple application.
The next day, I was down at the local Home Depot trudging up and down the aisles, looking for the liquid moss eradicator. I finally found it in the garden supplies section, right next to the moss control fertilizer, even though the label warned that the product was not to be used on planted areas like lawns but only on moss covered hard surfaces. I made my purchase and took my gallon of Mega Moss Death, "as advertised on TV," home.
Upon carefully reading the application instructions, I noticed one requirement that could have me waiting until some time in May before it goes on. At the end of the fifth paragraph, it clearly advises the product should only be applied to the mossy surface after it has dried.
Until then, my house is easy to spot-it's the one with the green fur on the north wall.[[In-content Ad]]
