"I don't guarantee that you are going to find the One," says Alma Avery Rubenstein, the vivacious sparkplug behind The Professional Dater, Seattle's newest and most personal dating service. "But I do promise people a more satisfying single life."
It is a drizzly Thursday night, and sexy city lights replace the Northwest gray. Valentine's Day is less than a week away, and anything feels possible. Under the dim lights of a hip Green Lake bar, Alma, togged out in turquoise suede skirt and sassy black-leather boots, surveys the singles scene before her.
"I have always been fascinated with the art of dating and courtship," says Alma, renowned for revitalizing her client's dating lives. "People get comfortable with just having their life be OK."
Tonight, there are handsome, eligible men sitting at the bar. She turns on some East Coast charm and conversation begins. It is a go-get-'em technique that her company, which specializes in one-on-one matchmaking, singles events, dating seminars and romance coaching, passes on to clients.
Alma, who holds a B.A. in psychology and communications, currently works with clients age 24 through 63 and is the cruise director for her customers' single lives.
"Get on-board, put your seatbelt on, because we are going for a ride," she says with a coy smile.
The ride consists of: hair and wardrobe consulting, trips to the gym if needed, a personality profile, dating history, phone etiquette, relationship goal assessment and an in-house visit - she makes sure that your home is appealing to the opposite sex.
Shaker heard Alma on the radio and started her program at the end of October. He contacted Alma and asked her to help him be the best single that he could be. His single life has noticeably improved: last week he went on three dates, and this weekend his social calendar is full.
"I was married a really long time and totally unequipped for being single," says Shaker, confident that he is getting his feet wet pretty fast. "I didn't know where singles went, how they networked. She addressed these issues on the radio show, and it appealed to me."
An actress in Los Angeles for 10 years, Alma has been a guest on Buzz Radio (B.J. Shea's show), K-Rock (Andy Savage morning show) and KJR (the Pat Cashman morning show).
"I have a Ph.D. in dating," she says. The seasoned single earned her "doctorate" degree by going on every reality dating show known to mankind: "Blind Date," "Dating Game," "Chains of Love," "Single in L.A." - and, most recently, "The Bachelor."
"I have always been a really good single," she says. "I don't know if that is a bad thing or a good thing."
Single or not, Alma's gift lies in her ability to motivate and inspire clients. Life is short, humans are here to love, and fear of rejection should never be what keeps you from essential intimacy.
"People shut down," says Alma, a fearless 5-foot-4 bombshell who works to help her clients bounce back. "Every single person has had something in their life that knocks them down," she says. "Everyone is afraid. Many people are really afraid to connect."
As the world accelerates and telecommunicating outnumbers face-to-face conversation, Alma offers a human bridge. "She pushes you, but it is good," says Larry, a Seattle-based computer programmer who spent more time with his keyboard than the opposite sex before he met Alma. "She pushes you to do things that you may not be comfortable with. She doesn't let you sit back."
Alma facilitates speed-dating events: 20 females and 20 males spend five minutes with each person and see if anything clicks. She takes her clients on dates to get them dates and pushes them to hand their phone number out to people they find attractive.
"We are not done until they give them out," says Alma, who after 10 years as an actress in L.A. does not hear the word No anymore. "I teach people to become proactive in dating and to not take rejection personally." In many ways, the world of singles is a numbers game. Her clients increase their odds.
"Sometimes I get nervous and lost, and that is where Alma comes in," says Shaker, a sincere single who wants to marry again someday. "She is a good one for that."
Nevert Boraie, a 44-year-old Queen Anne resident with three children, spent $6,000 on a disappointing local matchmaking company before she found Alma, who is considerably more affordable. Boraie was a number, the dating database was bogus and eligible men were as elusive as Cupid and those love arrows he supposedly so likes to launch.
"With Alma, I know that there is someone out there watching out for me," says Boraie, a self-sufficient, cultured woman in search of a special man. "She devotes time to the individual person."
She turns back the clock and, in true "Fiddler on the Roof" fashion, Alma is the matchmaker.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Night after night, in the dark, I'm alone.
So, find me a match of my own.
"How do you want to live your life?" asks Alma, a woman who has served in the Israeli army. "Do you want to watch TV and watch others live, or do you want to get out there and play ball?"
Love, like food and shelter, is a necessity. It is life. It is ageless, and it is the reason we are on this planet. If fear is keeping you from waking up in the arms of another ... face it.
"With Alma, I have options," says Lynette Byrnes, a 36-year-old Centralia resident. "I am looking for what everyone is looking for - the One. Alma gives me the power to be in control of my own dating single life."
This Valentine's Day, as the world pauses for Love, dark chocolate and red roses, take a moment to smile at the stranger with pretty eyes. Offer your card to the barista who sends your heart aflutter. And if you are dismally dateless and petrified of rejection, call Alma.
"There are all of these single people out there who can't find each other," says Alma, whose name means soul in the Romance languages. "That is where my job comes in. I am not going to take anyone's money if I don't think that I can help them. My success comes from seeing my clients evolve."
And in the world of Alma, evolution could translate to baby blue eyes, a real hand to hold and a Valentine's Day kiss that lingers all the way to Christmas. You just never know, but if you are living without sweet chemistry and midnight cuddles, it may be time to take the leap.
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