"I don't guarantee that you are going to find the One," says Alma Avery Rubenstein, the vivacious sparkplug behind The Professional Dater, Seattle's newest and most personal dating service. "But I do promise people a more satisfying single life."
It is a drizzly Thursday night and sexy city lights replace the northwest gray. Valentine's Day is less than a week away and anything feels possible.
Under the dim lights of a hip Seattle bar, Alma - dressed in a turquoise, suede skirt and sassy, black-leather boots - surveys the singles scene before her.
"I have always been fascinated with the art of dating and courtship," says Alma, renowned for revitalizing her client's dating lives. "People get comfortable with just having their life be okay."
Tonight, there are handsome, eligible men sitting at the bar, and "okay" is simply not what Alma is about. She approaches an attractive man, turns on some East Coast charm and conversation begins.
It is a go-get-'em technique that her company, "The Professional Dater," passes on to clients. Alma, who holds a bachelor's degree in psychology and communications, specializes in one-on-one matchmaking, singles events, dating seminars and romance coaching.
She currently works with clients from ages 24-63 and is the cruise director for her customers' single lives.
"Get on-board, put your seatbelt on, because we are going for a ride," Alma says with a coy smile.
The ride consists of: hair and wardrobe consulting, trips to the gym if needed, a personality profile, dating history, phone etiquette, relationship goal assessment and an in-house visit - is your home appealing to the opposite sex?
"She doesn't have a rubber-stamp program," says "Shaker", a 57-year-old man who recently entered the singles scene after more than 20 years of marriage. "Alma takes her clients wherever they are and tailors the program to them."
Shaker, who heard Alma on the radio and started her program at the end of October, contacted Alma and asked her to help him be the best single that he could be. He said his single life has noticeably improved. Last week he went on three dates, and this weekend his social calendar is full.
"I was married a really long time and totally unequipped for being single," says Shaker, confident that he is getting his feet wet pretty fast. "I didn't know where singles went, how they networked. She addressed these issues on the radio show, and it appealed to me."
An actress in L.A. for 10 years, Alma has been a guest on Buzz Radio (B.J. Shea show), K-Rock (Andy Savage morning show) and KJR-AM (The Pat Cashman morning show).
"I have a Ph.D. in dating," she says. Alma, a seasoned single, says she earned her "doctorate" degree by going on every reality dating show known to mankind - "Blind Date," "The Dating Game," "Chains of Love," "Single in LA" and, most recently, "The Bachelor."
"I have always been a really good single," Alma says. "I don't know if that is a bad thing or a good thing."
Single or not, Alma's gift lies in her ability to motivate and inspire clients. Life is short, humans are here to love, and fear of rejection should never be what keeps you from essential intimacy.
"People shut down," Alma says. "Every single person has had something in their life that knocks them down. Everyone is afraid.
"Many people are really afraid to connect," she adds.
As the world accelerates and telecommunicating outnumbers face-to-face conversation, Alma offers a human bridge.
"She pushes you, but it is good," says Larry, a Seattle-based, computer programmer who spent more time with his keyboard than the opposite sex before he met Alma.
"She pushes you to do things that you may not be comfortable with," he explains. "She doesn't let you sit back."
Alma facilitates speed-dating events - 20 females and 20 males spend five minutes with each person to see if anything clicks. She takes her clients on dates to get them dates and pushes them to hand their phone number out to people they find attractive.
"We are not done until they give them out," says Alma, who after a decade in LA does not hear the word "no" anymore. "I teach people to become proactive in dating and to not take rejection personally."
In many ways, the world of singles is a numbers game. Alma helps clients increase their odds.
"Sometimes I get nervous and lost and that is where Alma comes in," says Shaker, adding that he wants to marry again someday. "She is a good one for that."
Nevert Boraie, a 44-year-old Queen Anne resident with three children, spent $6,000 on a disappointing local matchmaking company before she found Alma, who is considerably more affordable. For Boraie, the dating database was bogus and eligible men remained as elusive as Cupid's love arrows.
"With Alma I know that there is someone out there watching out for me," says Boraie, a self-sufficient, cultured woman in search of a special man. "She devotes time to individuals. She offers a real person."
She turns back the clock and in true Fiddler on the Roof fashion, Alma is the matchmaker.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Night after night, in the dark, I'm alone.
So, find me a match of my own.
"How do you want to live your life?" asks Alma, a woman who has served in the Israeli army. "Do you want to watch TV and watch others live, or do you want to get out there and play ball?"
Love, like food and shelter, is necessary. It is life. It is ageless and it is the reason we are on this planet. If fear is keeping you from waking up in the arms of another - face it.
"With Alma I have options," says Lynette Byrnes, a 36-year-old Centralia resident. "I am looking for what everyone is looking for - the One. Alma gives me the power to be in control of my own dating single life."
This Valentine's Day, as the world pauses for love, dark chocolate and red roses, take a moment to smile at the stranger with pretty eyes. Offer your card to the barrista who sends your heart aflutter. And if you are dismally dateless and petrified of rejection, call Alma.
"There are all of these single people out there who can't find each other," Alma says. "That is where my job comes in. I am not going to take anyone's money if I don't think that I can help them. My success comes from seeing my clients evolve - where they start and where they finish."
And in the world of Alma, evolution could translate to baby-blue eyes, a real hand to hold and a Valentine's Day kiss that lingers all the way to Christmas.
You just never know, but if you are living without sweet chemistry and midnight cuddles, it may be time to take the leap.
For more information, contact Alma Rubenstein at www.theprofessionaldater.com or call 295-9730.
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