QUEEN ANNE RESIDENT SPENT CAREER HELPING KIDSIt has been said that it takes a village to raise a child. James May, and a 24-year Queen Anne resident, is one member of this village and this years' recipient of the Children's Hospital and Regional Medical Center's prestigious, annual Duncan Award.The Duncan Award is named in honor of Seattle native and physician William R. Duncan, who, after medical school and a stint in the U.S. Army Medical Corps, returned to practice orthopedic medicine in Seattle. He served as chief of orthopedics at Children's Hospital from 1955 to 1961. He established the Children's Clinic and Preschool, and the Cerebral Palsy Clinic at Children's Hospital.Duncan was also a consultant to the Washington State Department of Health and Crippled Children's Services (Children with Special Health Care Needs) and founder of the Orthopedic Research Foundation of Seattle. He died in 2003.The annual Duncan Award is given to those who have shown originality, creativity, and an atypical approach to their vocation working with children. As with Duncan, May too has spent his career focusing on children with special needs not just as biological units with less than perfect physiology, but as whole people.As an educator and licenced mental health counselor (LMHC), May has helped families and children with disabilities for 42 years. His many posts and accomplishments have included director of the Washington State Fathers Network for 18 years; Director of the National Fathers Network; presenter of 100 keynote addresses; more than 450 workshops and seminars in the United States, Canada, Germany, and New Zealand; developer of 100 programs in 38 states for fathers of children with special needs; author of more than 20 published articles; producer of three highly acclaimed videos; and the author of four monographs. His many honors have included the 1993 Earl Brewer Award for Health Professional of the Year; the 1998 Safeco Corporation Rudy Award for recognition of work in the community; the 2004 President's Award presented by the National Down Syndrome Society; and in 2004 the Lifetime Achievement Award presented by the Seattle Mariners and the National Center for Fathering.So how did degrees in education and counseling translate into this specialty area and what made May original, creative and atypical?"Because of my own chronic illness (James was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis when he was 14), I seem to be able to understand pain in other people ... I have always been very social, innately gregarious, a born storyteller, and I love kids."May uses what he calls his 'weird' humor with the fathers he works with to get them engaged and to establish a connection. Many fathers of children with disabilities still suffer from the old male models of manliness: wanting to be self-sufficient, in control and capable of handling anything. "On their first visit to my counseling sessions these fathers are filled with rage, fear, frustration and a feeling of terrible isolation. With men so often what is outwardly shown is not what is really going on inside."I don't tell fathers and families what to do, I listen and through stories they can connect with I guide them to discover the answers they need."After his arthritis was diagnosed, his mother was his caregiver and his dad did not seem to care, and was seldom around. Eventually, May had to deal with the rage he harbored toward his father."It wasn't until years later when I interviewed my dad for a graduate psych class assignment, that he told me as he cried uncontrollably, that he worked six days a week to pay the medical bills, and that he always thought he had failed me because he could not fix things. From the time of that interview with my dad I began to wonder how many other dads were going through the same thing, and with my training it gradually occurred to me that maybe I could help families to fix things.... I also wanted to honor the sacrifices my mom and dad had made for me."May's mother has since passed away; his dad is still alive and is an avid Mariners fan. "When I was told my dad could not accompany me to Safeco Field for the Lifetime Achievement Award ceremony because of security protocol, I told them if he couldn't accompany me, I wouldn't go." The powers-that-be relented, and his dad watched his son receive the award. May said the moment was "the grandest day of my life."May has now been retired for three years, but is consultant to families of children with disabilities and until recently ran the Web site for the Fathers Network. As his wife, Gina, says of May, "children are the joy of his life." May is still a very active member of the village helping to raise children.[[In-content Ad]]
