Your child tells you he is being bullied at school.
Do you:
A. Advise him to ignore it?
B. Ask what he did to provoke it?
C. Tell him to hit back?
D. None of the above.
The correct answer is D.
"Children who are being bullied need their parents' support and help," says Brian Bailey, violence prevention supervisor at Youth Eastside Services. "Start by acknowledging the courage it took for your son to tell you about the problem."
Make no mistake, bullying is a problem.
Fear of being bullied causes thousands of children to miss school annually, and the stress can affect their academic performance and physical and mental health, not to mention leave lasting emotional scars.
Research shows that adults who were bullied as children are more likely to suffer from depression and low self-esteem.
Unchecked bullying also carries consequences for perpetrators, who are more likely to drop out, get into fights, use cigarettes and alcohol, and have criminal problems.
Bailey offers the following tips to parents.
If your child is being bullied:
* Listen to her and tell her the bullying isn't her fault.
* Suggest your child stick with a group or walk with a friend.
* Role play simple, calm responses: "Cut it out," or "You're right," and walk away.
* Don't tell your child to ignore the bullying or hit back, both of which could intensify the situation.
* Tell the teacher or principal about the bullying and encourage your child to do the same.
* Build your child's confidence by helping him make new friends and explore talents and interests in and out of school.
If your child is doing the bullying:
* Talk to him about his behavior and its effects on others.
* Be prepared to carry out clear, nonviolent consequences for future bullying.
* Work with school staff on changing your child's behavior.
Formed in 1968, YES helps more than 36,000 youth and family members each year with counseling, outreach and prevention programs that address myriad issues, including emotional distress, substance abuse, sexual abuse, gang activity and violence. For more information, go to www.youtheastsideservices.org.
Pam McGaffin may be reached via editor@sdistrictjournal.com.[[In-content Ad]]
