In our rushed society we sometimes go too far in desperate haste to save time. Some things should not be rushed, and before attending my first speed-dating event, I was convinced this was one of them.HOW IT'S DONESpeed dating events concentrate about 16 to 30 singles in one place for a quick opportunity to check one another out. A heterosexual event will be evenly split between women and men and boast some sort of commonality among attendees: age, occupation, hobby and/or religious affiliation.Speed dating is about culling the herd as quickly as possible. I waited to find an event of people in my age group. Wasting time is a cardinal sin of speed dating, and besides, who wants to meet people too young or too old to take seriously.Some events are done round robin, with one group (usually the guys) moving from table to table while another group (usually the gals) stays seated. The one I attended, at a bar, had all attendees change tables at the sound of the chime, which caused some confusion and wasted time, but added suspense over who might slide into the seat across from me.Speed dating gives attendees a fixed time to spend on each "date," ranging from three to 15 minutes. At my event, we had eight minutes to spend on each of eight dates. Attendees were given assigned numbers and cards on which to scribble the names and numbers of our "dates." After eight minutes of chat, I could note whether I wanted to meet them again.In many ways, this operated like a pickup at a bar - with one important safety catch. Going home, I went to my computer and the organizers' website. I entered the names and numbers of the three men (out of eight) I found interesting.My eight encounters also had the option of giving my first name and assigned number into their computer, but only those I chose in return had access to my phone number and/or e-mail address. Two of my chosen three chose me back.WHY DO ITSurprisingly, I enjoyed speed dating. The evening felt like a night out at a bar or dance club - only on steroids. Honestly, I rarely get picked up by eight men in one evening.I appreciated being able to talk and walk away, without having to reject anyone to their face. Of course, if crushing hearts and destroying hopes face-to-face makes your evening, the short span of these "dates" still gives plenty of opportunity.Perhaps I got lucky. The time limit didn't feel too constricted, and most of my "dates" conversed well enough. Most conversations stayed light with jokes, a few facts and general impressions instead of grisly details.RULES TO SPEED-DATE BYThat is, most did. I asked one date, after passing references to a second wife, how many wives he's had? He sighed heavily and answered grumblingly, "I guess I have to tell the story now." I felt the gruesome details of his three failed marriages unnecessary. However, that isn't why I rejected him: I'd already found his outlook too negative. Oh, and he's a writer. I don't date writers.Speed dating gave quick glimpses. This was not a time for complaints about the fickleness of the opposite sex, or the evil machinations of the current governmental regime. The same rules applied as with any social event: Smile, don't drink heavily and leave bitterness until the third date.Only one rule proved imperative to speed dating success: Show up! Most organizers require advance reservations, and only accept as many men as women, and vice versa, at each event. If someone doesn't show, each of their dates sits staring at a blank chair for three to 15 minutes, a mortal threat to anyone's self-confidence.THE CASE FOR SPEED DATINGIn all, I passed a pleasant evening. If I must kiss many frogs to find a prince, speed dating turned out to be a valid option. In one evening, eight frogs made their arguments for a kiss, and while none proved to be my prince, the experience leaves me free to move on to another pond.Sofia lives in North Seattle. She will write more on the "frogs" she met speed dating in her next column, which will appear in two weeks. She can be reached at needitor@nwlink.com.[[In-content Ad]]
