I wish young children today had my childhood," says Queen Anne resident Flora De Grande. "It was a lovely life, but those were different years. Kids haffa too much freedom now-it's a mess. Some kids haffa sex at age 12, can you imagine? I had braids at that age!"
Flora was born in 1924 in Arzignano, Italy, an industrial town near Verona. Everything from motors, to leather, to silk was manufactured there.
The second of Beatrice and Giovanni Savioli's three daughters, she was actually their third-born child. Sadly, their second-born died at 13 months. Her name was Flora, and our Flora was named after her.
In Arzignano, Flora's parents owned a caffè. Besides coffee, they sold tobacco, vino and a few groceries.
When Flora was 4 the family moved to Vicenza, her mother's birthplace, where they opened another caffè in the same building where Flora's aunt owned a caffè, a "marvelous palace" in the center of town.
But the two like businesses did not compete for clientele. Whereas Flora's aunt's caffè was "luxurious," her father's was for men only, furnished with tables for playing cards and pool.
Flora said she has many idyllic memories of Vicenza: men playing bocce with heavy wooden balls in a park by the river, as well as biking and hiking with her friends. One of her favorite excursions was to bike to the foot of Monte Pasubio, stop at the mineral springs there, then hike up the mountain.
Ten years later, the family moved back to Arzignano, where Flora's parents opened yet another caffè, this one near a church. Flora attended an istituto through her high school and college years, graduating with a degree in economia domestica at the end of World War II, when she was 21.
"We were very lucky in Arzignano," she says. "We didn't haffa no bombs. The only thing that was missing was coffee.
"We did haffa young people dying," she adds. "That was not very good."
All the townspeople were Socialists; none of them liked Mussolini's Fascist regime. "Socialism is a bad word here," she says of the United States, "but it is not bad. I thought Socialism was wonderful."
Flora's father spoke out openly against Mussolini. He was arrested by the fascists and imprisoned for several weeks.
A NICE YOUNG MAN
In 1948, Flora met her husband-to-be, an Italian-American named Frank De Grande. His father and her mother were cousins, making him and Flora second cousins.
Frank served in the Pacific during World War II and was stationed in Germany after the war, a staff sergeant in the fledgling U.S. Air Force. During one furlough he took the train to Italy and met his uncle in Arzignano, where he was to be introduced to some distant relatives there.
Flora still worked in her parents' caffè. "I was closing for the day," she recalls, "rolling down the metal storefront cover, when two Americans came up to me and introduced themselves. Frank says he thought 'Wow' when he met me. I thought, 'He's a nice young man.'"
She invited them to dinner and cooked for the first time in her life (curiously, cooking must not have been part of the curriculum at the istituto). "I made osso bucco," she says. "It came out perfect!"
Frank left the military in 1950 and returned to his parents' farm outside Vancouver, Wash. He and Flora corresponded, and he visited her when he could. Eventually he proposed, but she was reluctant to move to the United States and leave her parents. "They needed me," she says. "But Frank waited."
Finally, in 1955, her parents retired and she felt free to marry Frank. They wed in February of that year in Vicenza, then moved far away to his family farm in this country.
They lived and worked on the farm for four years, during which time their first child, JoAnne, was born in 1956. Flora became an American citizen in 1957.
Then Frank gave up farming, and they moved into the city of Vancouver. "We had a lovely house, overlooking the Portland lights across the Columbia River," Flora says. Frank worked as a salesman for a beer distributor. He sold many brands, "but Budweiser was the most important," Flora recalls.
Over the years they had three more children: Tracee, Tammy and John.
When not mothering, Flora did gigluccio, an Italian embroidery named for the giglio, or Easter lily. She embroidered tablecloths and napkins, sheets and pillowcases-even a handkerchief for Frank.
CHANGES AFOOT
Frank's employer transferred him northward in 1965. The family settled in Federal Way, where Flora and Frank lived in the same house for 40 years.
When all four children were in school, in 1969, Flora got a job at the Bon Marché (now Macy's). She ended up working there for 27 years, first selling handbags, then stationery, then china and finally luggage. She retired in 1996 as manager of the luggage department.
Over the years she and her family visited Italy many times, sometimes for as long as two months. "The Bon was great about that," she says. But none of her children became fluent in Italian. "I regret terribly that I never taught them," she says. Now two of them are learning Italian on their own.
Flora reads in English now, all kinds of books. "In English," she says, "there's a word for almost anything you want to express, and there are fewer rules." She goes on to compare the two languages: "Italian is wordier and there are more rules, but it is more musical."
Her nationality and preferred language aren't the only things that have changed-so has her religion. Like 90 percent of Italians she was raised Roman Catholic, but now she is Episcopalian. "Catholicism clings to things that just don't make sense," she says. "For example, women should be able to be priests" (as they can in the Episcopalian church).
"Also," Flora continues, "birth control is a useful thing." She said she guesses that many Italian women must be using it despite the pope's decree, because the birth rate in Italy is low. Statistically, it was estimated in 2006 that only 1.28 children were born per woman. In contrast, Flora explaines, "I had a godmother who didn't feel 'whole' unless she was pregnant. Can you imagine? Needless to say, she had many children."
TAKING CARE
Frank retired 10 years before Flora did, in 1986. For the past 30 years he has battled a neuropathic illness, and three years ago he was diagnosed with leukemia.
"I can't complain about aging," says Flora, "but I see my husband and it's very sad." He was the one who wanted to move to Merrill Gardens on Lower Queen Anne.
They moved in last year, shortly after the retirement community opened. "At first it was very hard for me," Flora says. "Such a painful thing to leave my house, I cannot tell you.
"But on a particular day," she continues, "I realized that after all my husband has done for me, it was time to do what he wants."
She leans back and relaxes. "It was no longer a struggle-a marvelous gift from God."
Her children and grandchildren visit her and Frank often, easing the transition. "I am so grateful we are still here with our family," she says.
Flora proved she is adaptable in her 30s.
And she did it again in her 80s.[[In-content Ad]]
