Preconceived notions about priests go out the window when you meet the Rev. Melissa Skelton, new rector at St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Lower Queen Anne. Not only is she a priest, but she's also married to a priest, the Rev. Bob Gallagher, and she's also the mother of a 27-year-old son, Evan, who lives in Washington, D.C. Beyond that, the Rev. Skelton is well known in some circles as a corporate consultant; she's had her own busi-ness for a number of years, and she's used to accomplishing goals.
Known affectionately to her parishioners as Mother Melissa, the svelte, silver-haired Skelton decided to study for the priesthood in the 1980s and, a little later, for an M.B.A. at the University of Chicago. While in school, she spent two summers as a clinical pastor. As she explained during a recent interview in her office - her soft, smooth voice showing just a hint of a Southern accent - in the Episcopal church such experience provides a way for people to examine whether they really want to be priests. Soon after graduation, the Cincinnati cleaning-products giant Proctor & Gamble recruited her. She ended up working for them for five years, simultaneously serving in a parish. It was during this time that she was ordained as a priest even though she was fully involved in the business world.
Interestingly, Skelton wasn't raised in the Episcopal Church (called the Anglican church in England) and had "almost no church background," she said. She was born in Georgia, into a military family that moved a lot, but she returned to Georgia for college, majoring in English Renaissance literature and graduating with honors. Later, she earned an M.A. in English and completed a thesis on Milton's theo-logical ideas. She "fell in love" with the church, she said, after she married an Episcopalian who also ultimately became a priest. However, it was not until their daughter was baptized that she, too, wanted to join the church. It was "the beauty and mystery of the liturgy," she recalled that prompted her "instantaneous love." She also appreciated the church's worldview, and the fact that it "felt perfectly fine to kick around" questions and doubts.
Rev. Skelton believes that she "grew up fast" once she was baptized in the church. Her daughter was suffering from pulmonary hypertension, a terminal disease. The pain involved in dealing with that illness ultimately proved "a crucible"; she now believes she dis-covered a lot of her own theological per-spectives at that time. The experience, though lonely, taught her empathy, she said, and she began to recognize the importance of solitude. "It is one of the best gifts I could have been given."
After their daughter's death, Rev. Skelton and her husband moved to a small town in South Carolina, where he served a tiny African-American parish. The sorrow eventually proved too much for their marriage, and the couple divorced. "For me," she recalled, "there was numbness. When we moved, it [their daughter's death] really hit me."
In the midst of all the pain, Skelton gradually decided that she wanted to study for the priesthood. "Over time, I began to try on what I thought priestly identity was," she explained. "I taught children, I taught adults, I was the cantor. Gradually, it came into focus. It was so incremental as I looked at what a priest did."
After seminary and her stint with Proctor & Gamble, the General Theological Seminary in Manhattan offered Skelton a chance to be its vice president of administration and to serve on the adjunct faculty. The Rev. Bob Gallag-her was in Manhattan at that time as well, serving as director of the Church Development Institute. Both being priests, and given their similar interests in organizational development as well as big cities, the two were undoubtedly destined to meet. They married in 1996.
Another auspicious introduction during the Manhattan years occurred when she met Tom Chappell, as in Tom's of Maine, the toothpaste people. Chappell's business ethic focuses on social responsibility, an approach that prompted the mid-career priest to accept a job with the company, where she continued to use her knowledge of organizational development. After a time, Trinity Castine, a small Maine parish that welcomes a number of East Coast "summer people," became her domain. Though dyed-in-the-wool urbanities, Rev. Skelton and her husband bought a house nearby in the Maine countryside on Deer Isle. Nevertheless, the desire to serve a parish as a full-time priest began to gain strength.
One day while reading an Episcopal publication called The Living Church, Skelton saw the ad for an opening as rector at St. Paul's. She and Rev. Gallagher had been thinking about a return to city life, so she decided to apply. She liked the fact that St. Paul's service emphasizes "a love of ceremony, beauty and mystery," one that includes the traditional vestments and chanting as well as the use of incense. "I was looking for a place that had a generous spirit," she recalled. The church's urban location in a neighborhood where she and her husband could walk also attracted her, and she accepted the call.
Even before their arrival in February of this year, Skelton knew there would be some challenges at St. Paul's. One of the main goals for the parish would be to increase the number of parishioners. Toward that end, members will soon conduct a survey of Queen Anne residents to see what they are "hungry for," as she puts it. Because of its rather traditional service, St. Paul's has been considered a "desti-nation parish," Rev. Skelton explained, a place that serves people from throughout the metro area, although she thinks about half of the members are from Queen Anne Hill.
In Skelton's view, a parish "is all about renewing people for their lives in the world. We want to create an experience where people know the unconditional love of God and go out and seek justice and be hopeful."
The word "rector," she quipped, originally meant "ruler," so as rector at St. Paul's she's responsible for the build-ings and grounds, as well as the approach to spirituality. Consequently, she does a little of everything, from buying paper clips to attending meetings. She considers herself an extrovert, loves preaching and is encouraged that new people show up on Sundays regularly now. "I have a passion for translating and decoding the richness of Christianity in an Episcopal tradition for people who want that," she responded to a question about her own style as a priest. "I love being drawn into that conversation, not to sell anybody, but to share out of my life."[[In-content Ad]]
