"I don't guarantee that you are going to find the One," says Alma Avery Rubenstein, the vivacious sparkplug behind The Professional Dater, Seattle's newest and most personal dating service. "But I do promise people a more satisfying single life."
It is a drizzly Thursday night, and sexy city lights replace the Northwest gray. Valentine's Day is less than a week away, and anything feels possible. Under the dim lights of a hip bar, Alma, togged out in turquoise suede skirt and sassy black-leather boots, surveys the singles scene before her.
"I have always been fascinated with the art of dating and courtship," said Alma. "People get comfortable with just having their life be OK."
There are handsome, eligible men sitting at the bar. She turns on some East Coast charm and conversation begins. It is a go-get-'em technique that her company, which specializes in one-on-one matchmaking, singles events, dating seminars and romance coaching, passes on to clients.
Alma, who holds bachelor's degrees in psychology and communications, currently works with clients age 24 through 63 and is the cruise director for her customers' single lives.
"Get on-board, put your seatbelt on, because we are going for a ride," she said with a coy smile.
The ride consists of: hair and wardrobe consulting, trips to the gym if needed, a personality profile, dating history, phone etiquette, relationship goal assessment and an in-house visit - she makes sure that your home is appealing to the opposite sex.
One man, who referred to himself as "Shaker," heard Alma on the radio and started her program at the end of October. His single life has noticeably improved: last week he went on three dates, and this weekend his social calendar is full.
"I was married a really long time and totally unequipped for being single," he said, aware that he is getting his feet wet pretty fast. "I didn't know where singles went, how they networked. She addressed these issues on the radio show, and it appealed to me."
An actress in Los Angeles for 10 years, Alma has been a guest on Buzz Radio, K-Rock and KJR.
"I have a Ph.D. in dating," she says. A seasoned single, she earned her "doctorate" by going on every reality dating show known to mankind - "Blind Date," "Dating Game," "Chains of Love," "Single in L.A." - and, most recently, "The Bachelor."
"I have always been a really good single," she said. "I don't know if that is a bad thing or a good thing."
Single or not, Alma's gift lies in her ability to motivate and inspire clients. Life is short, humans are here to love and fear of rejection should never be what keeps you from essential intimacy.
"People shut down," said Alma. "Every single person has had something in their life that knocks them down," she says. "Everyone is afraid. Many people are really afraid to connect."
As the world accelerates and telecommunicating outnumbers face-to-face conversation, Alma offers a human bridge.
"She pushes you, but it is good," said Larry, a Seattle-based computer programmer who spent more time with his keyboard than the opposite sex before he met Alma. "She pushes you to do things that you may not be comfortable with. She doesn't let you sit back."
Alma facilitates speed-dating events: 20 women and 20 men spend five minutes with each person and see if anything clicks. She takes her clients on dates to get them dates and pushes them to hand their phone number out to people they find attractive.
"We are not done until they give [phone numbers] out," says Alma, who after 10 years as an actress in L.A. does not hear the word 'no' anymore. "I teach people to become proactive in dating and to not take rejection personally." In many ways, the world of singles is a numbers game. Her clients increase their odds.
"Sometimes I get nervous and lost, and that is where Alma comes in," said Shaker, who wants to marry again someday. "She is a good one for that."
Nevert Boraie, a 44-year-old with three children, spent $6,000 on a disappointing local matchmaking company before she found Alma. She was a number, the dating database was bogus and eligible men were as elusive as Cupid and those love arrows he supposedly likes to launch.
"With Alma, I know that there is someone out there watching out for me," said Boraie, a self-sufficient, cultured woman in search of a special man. "She devotes time to the individual person."
She turns back the clock and, in true "Fiddler on the Roof" fashion, Alma is the matchmaker: "Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Night after night, in the dark, I'm alone.
So, find me a match of my own."
* * *
"How do you want to live your life?" asked Alma, a woman who has served in the Israeli army. "Do you want to watch TV and watch others live, or do you want to get out there and play ball?"
"With Alma, I have options," says Lynette Byrnes, a 36-year-old Centralia resident. "I am looking for what everyone is looking for - the One. Alma gives me the power to be in control of my own dating single life."
This Valentine's Day, as the world pauses for Love, dark chocolate and red roses, take a moment to smile at the stranger with pretty eyes. Offer your card to the barista who sends your heart aflutter. And if you are dismally dateless and petrified of rejection, there's always Alma.
"There are all of these single people out there who can't find each other," she said. "That is where my job comes in. I am not going to take anyone's money if I don't think that I can help them. My success comes from seeing my clients evolve."
In Alma's world, evolution could translate to baby blue eyes, a real hand to hold and a Valentine's Day kiss that lingers all the way to Christmas. You just never know, but if you are living without sweet chemistry and midnight cuddles, it may be time to take the leap.
Alma Avery Rubenstein can be reached at www.theprofessional dater.com or 295-9730.
Freelance writer Ritzy Ryciak can be reached at editor@capitolhill times.com.[[In-content Ad]]
